MY PHOTO JOURNAL IN THE HOSPITAL

FIONA'S FAMILLY FOLLOWING HER ON THE STRETCHER TO THE OPERATING THEATER

(CONTINUES FROM RECEIPES: MONKFISH WITH BURNT GARLIC AND FIONA MC LAUGHLIN)

When they told me that they had to operate on me again, I realised that it would be difficult to continue with the end of course project on the Carrer Montcada. And walking along the hospital corridors of Can Ruti, the subject of my project jumped out right in front of my eyes. Can Ruti, my dear Can Ruti, my blue pyjamas, the corridors, the needles, the pills, the nurses, and the hours of waiting. To capture this moment of my life was very important.

We humans are such cowards that at the first blow we retreat. Listening to the comments around me, it seems that people don’t feel like fighting for life and they don’t know how to appreciate the happiness which is offered to them. It’s not about asking yourself if you are the lucky one who is going to be happy but to look in the right direction, and to do it with patience and confidence.




The world is so big, and it is full of stories like mine. The person who has lost a member of the family, a friend, a child. The one who had a car accident. The one who misses the woman who has left him. The one who is blind....

I have been living with my illness for five years and I really want to explain to you the lessons I have learned, how my way of looking at life has changed. Above all in this last year. I feel I want to live life completely. I look at things day to day with peace and tranquillity and everything is easier for me.The day to day is what we have.Life is a continual battle, never stop. You have the right to get angry at the world for a day or two, but don’t stop being positive. It is simple. It is gratifying.



Live in peace and tranquillity, first of all with yourself and after with the rest. Unfortunately, everyone goes so fast in the street and in their life that they don’t even think about dedicating some time to themselves.

Meditate and reflect. Listen to a song, or two..... Read a chapter of a book. Have a bath. Give yourself a present every day. Listen to yourself.

PHOTO: MARIE-PIERRE DURAND

Life is shit! Of course more than once I have rebelled against life. So many hours in the hospital, so much uncertainty, so much wasted time. Sometimes I have thought that it would be easier to die. I have all the right in the world to complain, when I do complain. However, deep inside me, I think that this reaction is acceptable, if it is a passing one. It is important that it doesn’t get lodged in you. It is necessary to expel the rage so that you can then feel relaxed and once more hold fast to the happy and positive life you have wanted to have.

A last bit of advice. If you are lucky enough to have people around you who love you and are concerned about you, don’t be so proud and ask them for help. Let them spoil you. This will give you happiness and strength.
I have always been a proud and stubborn person and I have pretended that I was able to get out of this on my own. You should see the problems I have solved myself, but there is absolutely no way I would have come out of this, nor do I know if I would still be here if it were not for my family, for my friends and people who know me.
Friendship united with love is so necessary, it generates so much energy. I know very well that many people love me. Not a day goes by without me receiving positive energy from someone.
Many people tell me that I am the one who sends you positive energy, but that’s not completely true. You give, I receive. I give, you receive. We are united. Life is an exchange.




Now I really want to say to you: Your love is my hope. The love I feel for you is infinite. Your smile is my smile. Thanks to you all I have become stronger. You have made me believe I am capable of everything and more if I propose it to myself.

Love all of you!
Life is a continual battle.
Never stop, no matter how tired you are.
Don’t lose hope, however fed up you are.
The world is full of problems and yes, life is hard.
Do not lose hope, you are strong, you know you are.
It would be a pity to stop halfway along the road.
Keep fighting.
One day I know we will get there, we will do it.
Life is beautiful.

Text and photos: Fiona McLaughlin

(TO BE CONTINUED)